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Schöpfungsgeschichte – Eine Tankstelle entsteht – Teil 4: Als Gott den Himmel und die Erde erschuf, vergaß er, Tankstellen zu bauen

18. August 2006 chronist Feature Tankstellenneubau 446

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Also müssen wir von der "Tanke AG" das Versäumte nachholen. Wer die bisherigen Folgen dieses Features gelesen hat, der weiß dass dem Baubeginn der Tankstelle nur noch der Segen der Behörden entgegensteht. Im Buch der Bücher steht geschrieben, dass Gott den Himmel und die Erde schuf.  Moses aber vergaß in seinem ersten Buch, der Genesis, zu erwähnen, dass Gott die Behörden nicht um baurechtliche Zustimmung zu diesem gewaltigen Vorhaben gefragt hatte, was dazu führte, dass das "Projekt Kosmos" zeitweise hochgradig gefährdet war. Diesen Fehler wollen wir von unserer Mustertankstellengesellschaft "Tanke AG" unbedingt vermeiden. Deshalb bitten wir über unsere "Baulöwen" (Hinweis: so nennen wir scherzhaft unsere Bauabteilung), ein externes Architekturbüro mit der Erstellung des Bauantrages und Einreichung bei der Behörde zu beauftragen. Nach  vier Wochen etwa liegt  von der Stadtverwaltung Musterstadt eine Eingangsbestätigung des Bauantrages vor.

 

Die Zeit geht ins Land, ohne dass wir etwas von unserem Bauantrag von der Behörde gehört hätten. Also  erkundigt sich unser Architekt bei der Behörde nach dem Stand des Baugenehmigungsverfahrens. Etwas genervt läßt man ihn wissen, dass folgende Behörden zunächst ihre Stellungnahmen abgeben müssen, bevor die endgültige Genehmigung durch das Bauordnungsamt erteilt werden könne: Wasserwirtschaftsamt ?untere Wasserbehörde, Amt für Umweltschutz, Amt für Arbeitsschutz (früher Gewerbeaufsichtsamt), Landesstraßenbauamt,  Amt für Denkmalschutz (auf unserem Grundstück hatten früher einmal die alten Römer gehaust), verschiedene Dezernate im Hochbauamt. Die Erde wäre niemals entstanden, hätte der Schöpfer einen Bauantrag gestellt!

 

Endlich – nach anderthalb Jahren kommt Hoffnung auf  –  denn endlich halten wir die Genehmigungsurkunde stolz und erleichtert in unseren Händen. Bei der Durchsicht des Auflagenkataloges (Katalog wohl deswegen, weil er so umfangreich ist wie der vom Meckermannversand) stoßen uns einige Auflagen säuerlich auf, sind  dort doch Forderungen gestellt, die unsere veranschlagten Baukosten noch einmal empfindlich in die Höhe hieven. Es wurde u. a. vom Landestraßenbauamt der Bau einer Linksabbiegespur zu unserer Tankstelle auf dem Autobahnzubringer gefordert. Aber wie heißt dieses alte aber doch so zutreffende Sprichwort der Baulöwen: "Willste bauen oder prozessieren"? Wir entscheiden uns fürs baldige Bauen, wollen wir doch endlich in Musterstadt mit einer hochmodernen Tankstellenpräsenz glänzen!  

 

Im nächsten Teil dieses Features schuf  Gott den Wintereinbruch, damit wir lernen, uns in Geduld  zu üben und warum die alten Römer an allem Schuld waren.

 

Lassen Sie sich die Folgen dieses Features nicht entgehen und klicken hier:

 

 

 

 

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